Thursday, 19 February 2009

Spending more time with my eldest child.

I enjoyed this years JIMAS Conference more than previous years. I'd looked forward to it since last year, we stayed at a hotel where they brought me breakfast in bed since I had a young baby - Maymoonah and her dad had breakfast downstairs. Also Umm Zaidah and her family were there. We hadn't spent that much time together for nearly 4 years since we both got married and she moved to London. Before that Umm Z and I would see each other almost everyday since school, college and Uni as well at work since most of our jobs were also together.

So for the 3 days it felt much like a reunion. Not only was I able to benefit from the lectures, the fresh air and green surroundings, I was also able to witness first hand Umm Zaidah's relationship with Zaidah, It felt a though I was seeing a living example of what I had been reading from The Parenting Course Notes.

Seeing something in action obviously has a stronger impact on someone than reading. It made me reflect on my own parenting skills, that I should be spending more one to one time and doing more educational activities with my eldest - Maymoonah, something that I felt I had neglected since I had my second daughter. With the 2 year the age gap between them and their differing needs, Maymoonah had very much become her fathers Girl and Jannah became Mine. Even down to feeding, changing Nappies and putting them to bed.

So at JIMAS I made the intention to do more activities with her. There was a time, before I got married or had children that I would often make mental plans for my future, of things I'd do with my children, plans regarding lifestyle and their schooling etc. I wanted to homeschool, study, foster and adopt. I wanted to do all of it.

Although I studied Law at College and Uni, the majority of my work experience involved working with children. At various Schools and Barnados Childrens centres, I worked with Billingual childen and those with special needs as a Behaviour Support Assistant. At the time I rather naively thought it would all make me better prepared for parenting.

So there I was after returning from the JIMAS Conference not quite knowing where to start in educating my 2 year old despite all my years of working with children. I still very much stuck to the same old reading, acting, scribbling, building bricks and simiar things that my 6 month old could also join in with.

A few months ago Umm Zaidah came to visit me again. This time I was glad to have more time to talk, I very much felt I needed the guidance and we were able to focus more on talking about the girls Education. Since our meeting I have had more Ideas on things to do with Maymoonah who is nearly 3 now.

Below is one of the activities we now do often. She has learnt many shapes within a few weeks as well as 4 letters of the alphabet. I am not actively teaching her anything as she is still very young but we are doing these things together and she is picking up tings and remembering them along the way.

Cutting and pasting with letters and shapes.

1. The first week I started with a few shapes and only one letter 'M' for her name. Umm Zaidah had given me the Idea to start with the the first letter of her name rather than writing out her whole name or the alphabet. That way they are not over burdened.

2. I draw out the outline of the letter and shape and she has fun sticking them down in her scrap book.

3.Each week I have introduced a new colour, letter or shape.



saabirah said...

really like the new look of the blog. hope to see more regular posts inshaAllah.

Umm Maymoonah said...

:) My sister reckons I have too much free time on my hands since my husbands away!

Umm Zaidah Nusaybah said...

Assalamu alaikum umm M, I had no idea you were observing my relationship with Zaidah at Jimas! alhamdulillah we learn from each other.

by the way love the new layout of the blog. did you do it yourself?

Anonymous said...

I love the design Umm maymoonah. I enjoyed reading this about you and your daughter it shows himility and reality of motherhoood. I have to admit I've often thought you were a 'Supermum' a superwife and a superwoman!
We should never shy away from seeking guidance when we need it and also it shows that although we have to deal with changes i.e of a new child we are soon back on track by the grace and mercy of Allah. Cyber hug to you.

HAYATH said...

What's done to children, they will do to society

Umm Maymoonah said...


Hayath I'm not sure what you mean dear?

Anonymous, JazakAllah khair for the hug. Supermum' a superwife and a superwoman?!
Hmm it's a good thing my Mum and my husband aren't here to say anything. As for my sisters and friends - don't say a word!

Umm Z and Saabirah, Thank you, yes I did do the blog but although I'd love to say it's down to my hidden talents (that's what I'm gonna tell Abu M,) it's actually just a case of entering a few HTML codes. :-)

Hayath said...

I mean what we do to our children they will do to society.

hayath said...

There's afamous qoute, not sure who qouted it, he said "one thing I love about america is the way the parents obey their children"

saabirah said...

I won't say "a word" instead I will say she is not a 'Supermum' a superwife and a superwoman! Where did anyone get such an idea!? She is a "superfriend" though masha'Allah. (Umm M, the cheque's been posted, right? ;-))

Umm Zaidah Nusaybah said...

I must say that I enjoyed Jimas last year alhamdulillah. I got to spend time with umm M and others,benefit from the lectures and most of all watching Zaidah,Maymoonah and other children playing in the green fields,so carefree mashaAllah.

Anonymous said...

It was after viewing your profile I guess that I first thought that. I love the way your blog explores the different roles of womenhood.

I think Hayath meant the Input ino our chldren by us is eventually the Output into sociey so we must also bear in mind the bigger picture,