What's the real problem here?

The Cbeebies presenter Cerrie Burnell with only one arm has sparked controversy regarding her appearance and has become the centre of a Political Correctness row after a minority of parents have claimed she is scaring their children.

When I first noticed Cerrie her appearance did surprise me I must admit, this was despite the fact that I myself have a minor 'dissability'. I wondered as to whether she was born that way or had lost her arm in an accident.

I let my daugher watch Cbeebies when we visit my mum and ocassionally we watch it online at home, when Maymoonah (nearly 3) first noticed the presenters arm I was right next to her. I saw her tilt her head to the side and crease her brows a little as she does when she is thinking and that was it. She continued watching as normal. My 7 year old neice on the other hand asked her mum, 'Mum, why has that lady only got one arm?' My sister told her that God had made her that way and that God creates everybody different, special and beautiful in their own way. And even though she only has one arm it doesn't stop her from doing anything.' She accepted that answer and said no more about it. While my other nephew and neice both aged 2, have watched and seen her more than a few times but haven't seemed to notice or say anything so far.

In an interview with the The Daily Telegraph, the 29-year-old theatre graduate said she was not ashamed of her disability and hopes to secure serious stage roles in the future.

"People assume there is a sadness attached to a disability like this. But to me, there is no sadness. If I had to change anything about myself, it wouldn't be this," she said.

"It would be to make my hair blonder so I didn't have to keep paying for highlights."

Burnell also denied that she was only cast because of the corporation's quota-filling equal opportunities policies, adding that she had faced discrimination in the past because of her disability.

"People are reluctant to cast disabled actors in main roles; so we don't get any profile, and then, casting directors presume we don't exist, and even disabled roles go to actors without disabilities. And the vicious cycle goes on," she said.

"For this job, there was no mention of it in the brief, and in the final round of auditions, I was the only disabled one of four."

A handful of viewers condemned Burnell's casting on the official message board of the BBC children's channel, with one parent writing that their child had "freaked out" on seeing the new presenter. They added: "There's a time and a place for showing kids all the differences that people can have, but nine in the morning in front of two-year-olds is not the place."

But the comments sparked a backlash from other viewers and disability campaigners, and Burnell has been deluged with messages of support.

She told the Telegraph that she was not surprised by the negative reaction of a minority and hoped her profile would boost the public image of disabled people. "People are frightened by disability so they don't want to see it; yet, if they saw more of it on television they wouldn't be so frightened," she said.

Burnell abandoned her prosthetic arm at primary school and has resisted all pressure to go wear one again despite the advice of tutors at Manchester Metropolitan University's school of theatre.

"One warned that were I to be cast as Juliet I would have to wear a cardigan," she said.

"I thought to myself, why would Juliet have to wear a cardigan? Would it be breezy on the balcony? Then the penny dropped – it was to cover my lack of limb." (Telegraph)


I find myself wondering what the real problem is here. I have a feeling that the real issue at hand is not the awkward questions that are being asked by children as some parents have complained of, if anythng, isn't it better that awkward questions that our children ask, are asked in the comfort of our own homes to us - their parents? As we will try to answer them in the best way since we care most for their development and needs and know what level of undrstanding they have, rather than have these questions asked to a teacher who may not give them the individual attention they need or worse than that, have the questions asked in public places whenever they seeing somebody who is different.

Embarrasing questions like, 'mummy why has that man got no teeth, did he eat too many sweets?' Or daddy look at that man. Why is he so fat? Is he going to have a baby?' Or Mummy why is your belly gone so big (a child to his pregnant mother). Not that a dissability is an embarrasing subject but the questions may be awkward or even cause offence to some. I would much rather answer my child's queeries when they arise thoughtfully and inshaAllah with wisdom in the comfort of my home.

So is it a problem that some children are scared by her? I personally have seen far scarier things on childrens channels and as a child I would surely have been more scared of Beasley and No-heart from the Carebears than a lady with one arm. I understand that some children may be scared but children will always be scared of something or another and naturally some children have more fears than others,

As Ms Brunell herself said to the BBC, "Children come up to me in the street every day and say 'What's that?' I wouldn't say they're frightened but certainly they're inquisitive.

"I would always take the time to explain to a child. All they want is an explanation. They want to know 'What's that?' and 'What's happened?' and 'Why are you different?' And then they will move on."

If the child asks questions then they are old enough to understand the answer and I thnk the problem really lies with the parents inability or lack of confidence in answering their childrens questions or perhaps they are even projecting their own fears or insecurities onto their children...

The Many Facets of Happiness

Sheikh Salmaan Al Oadah Hafidhahullah

I went on an outing with my children. Our main intention was to swim and for the children to have their fair share of recreation and of my quality time. It was also a chance for me as a father, to have my rightful share of the joy of being with my children, for truly we need our children as much as they need us, if not more. I found myself busy on that day with all sorts of little tasks – like making sandwiches, setting the picnic table, and handing out sweets. It was a beautiful day to harvest some of the fruits of happiness just by enjoying ordinary activities in total relaxation and familiarity.

That day made me think about how much we, as people, speak about happiness. Hundreds of books are published every year to address the issue from a dry, philosophical standpoint. These works strive to define happiness and reveal its connection with factors like prosperity, pleasure, and our state of mind. There is considerable controversy about what brings about happiness and, more essentially, what it actually means to be happy. This leads to the more mundane questions of role that health, wealth, one's job, one's marriage, and being successful play in our chances for happiness.

We might fail to see that happiness is an inner state of our being, which comes into its being within ourselves, and is often connected with the most ordinary and seemingly insignificant events of our lives. It is the normal state of a person's mind when that person is enjoying an experience or an activity. Those of us who disdain engaging in some pleasant activities, or simply fail to admit our enjoyment of them – due to our preconceived notions of what is suitable for us as adults, or as elderly people, or as people of social prominence – need to rethink some of our ideas. We should not rob ourselves of life's small but significant pleasures.

Be like a small child and really enjoy that cup of tea you are drinking. Take time to taste it. The same goes for a piece of chocolate or your ordinary daily meal. Enjoy it. Enjoy eating alone and in the company of people you care about.

Allah says: "There is nothing wrong with you eating together or by yourselves." [Sûrah al-Nûr: 61]

Be like a child who looks forward excitedly to taking a ride. Look forward to pleasant things. Laugh at a funny joke without first examining it to deduce whether the humor of the joke holds up under close scrutiny. Look forward to your sleep. Recognize it as being Allah's blessing and a refreshment for your body and mind. Maybe you will dream about those you love.

Look forward to the activity that is ahead of you. Take pleasure in the accomplishment – however small – that completing your task provides you with. This can be said of reading a book, preparing a letter, a lesson that you attend, or a social event that you participate in.

Try to see the beauty of a flower in bloom, the fields of crops, a flowing stream, the sparrow's song, and a child in play. Do not block these things from your sight, thinking them to be unimportant. Indeed, our sense of importance and of what carries weight with us – this is one of the greatest obstacles to happiness. This is an affliction that we impose upon ourselves. We need no enemy to do this to us.

We are happiest when we are the least inhibited in acknowledging and expressing how we feel. This is the case whether we are in the company of those we know or those we do not know. Expressing our feelings should not carry with it a sense of dread as if we are disclosing the most sensitive of state secrets.

We are happiest when we shed our ostentation and inflated sense of self-importance, so we can really listen to ourselves and acknowledge our inner needs and aspirations.

We are happiest when we are not pining after unrealistic and overly idealistic dreams but look at our lives naturally, without shame, and without exaggerating things.

We are happiest when we focus keenly on the experience of the moment, taking note of the billions – nay trillions – of blessings that are right in front of us. Allah's generosity extends to each living cell of our bodies and to everything on the land, the air, and in the sea. His grace extends to all the intangibles as well, like those feelings and sensations that we cannot describe in physical terms. Faith is a good example, love, pleasure, the apprehension of language, longing, joy, hope…

We may be happiest of all when we realize that happiness is not a package we receive in the mail – either by design or fortune – nor is it a degree conferred upon us like a diploma. It is rather the felling of the moment, if we harvest well what that moment has to offer and resolve to make the best of it. It is when we shove aside despair, worry, fear, hatred, envy, and the other negative emotions that too often preoccupy our thoughts.

We are the happiest we can be when we choose to be happy.

Source

Spending more time with my eldest child.

I enjoyed this years JIMAS Conference more than previous years. I'd looked forward to it since last year, we stayed at a hotel where they brought me breakfast in bed since I had a young baby - Maymoonah and her dad had breakfast downstairs. Also Umm Zaidah and her family were there. We hadn't spent that much time together for nearly 4 years since we both got married and she moved to London. Before that Umm Z and I would see each other almost everyday since school, college and Uni as well at work since most of our jobs were also together.

So for the 3 days it felt much like a reunion. Not only was I able to benefit from the lectures, the fresh air and green surroundings, I was also able to witness first hand Umm Zaidah's relationship with Zaidah, It felt a though I was seeing a living example of what I had been reading from The Parenting Course Notes.

Seeing something in action obviously has a stronger impact on someone than reading. It made me reflect on my own parenting skills, that I should be spending more one to one time and doing more educational activities with my eldest - Maymoonah, something that I felt I had neglected since I had my second daughter. With the 2 year the age gap between them and their differing needs, Maymoonah had very much become her fathers Girl and Jannah became Mine. Even down to feeding, changing Nappies and putting them to bed.

So at JIMAS I made the intention to do more activities with her. There was a time, before I got married or had children that I would often make mental plans for my future, of things I'd do with my children, plans regarding lifestyle and their schooling etc. I wanted to homeschool, study, foster and adopt. I wanted to do all of it.

Although I studied Law at College and Uni, the majority of my work experience involved working with children. At various Schools and Barnados Childrens centres, I worked with Billingual childen and those with special needs as a Behaviour Support Assistant. At the time I rather naively thought it would all make me better prepared for parenting.

So there I was after returning from the JIMAS Conference not quite knowing where to start in educating my 2 year old despite all my years of working with children. I still very much stuck to the same old reading, acting, scribbling, building bricks and simiar things that my 6 month old could also join in with.

A few months ago Umm Zaidah came to visit me again. This time I was glad to have more time to talk, I very much felt I needed the guidance and we were able to focus more on talking about the girls Education. Since our meeting I have had more Ideas on things to do with Maymoonah who is nearly 3 now.

Below is one of the activities we now do often. She has learnt many shapes within a few weeks as well as 4 letters of the alphabet. I am not actively teaching her anything as she is still very young but we are doing these things together and she is picking up tings and remembering them along the way.

Cutting and pasting with letters and shapes.

1. The first week I started with a few shapes and only one letter 'M' for her name. Umm Zaidah had given me the Idea to start with the the first letter of her name rather than writing out her whole name or the alphabet. That way they are not over burdened.






2. I draw out the outline of the letter and shape and she has fun sticking them down in her scrap book.

3.Each week I have introduced a new colour, letter or shape.


_

Aid Convoy to Gaza

Hundreds of British volunteers are driving an aid convoy of over 100 donated vehicles packed with practical aid to Gaza. The convoy left London on Saturday the 14th February. This remarkable convoy will be over a mile long and carry a million pounds of aid. Visit www.vivapalestina.org to keep up to date with the progress.

For more pictures and regular updates of the Manchester convoy, visit the Manchester Gaza Convoy website at www.gazaconvoy.com Feel free to ask questions or leave messages of support!