By Umm Zaidah Nusaybah
We started off the lesson with a discussion of the meaning of the Arabic word Tarbiyya. We brainstormed the following meanings:
• Self development
We then discussed the following ayah in the Qur’an
“My Lord! Bestow on them your mercy as they did bring me up when I was young.” (Al-Isra: 24)
We discussed the importance of parents and the fact that they should be treated with kindness, as it was our parents who took care of us when we were young and incapable of doing things ourselves.
We then discussed the hadith narrated by Abdullah Ibn ‘Amr (RA)
“All of you are guardians and responsible for your wards and the things under your care and each of you will be questioned about your flock. The imam is the guardian of his subjects and is responsible for them, and a man is the guardian of his family and is responsible for them. A woman is the guardian of her husband’s house and is responsible for it….…” (Bukhari and Muslim)
How does this hadith apply to us as mothers? We as mothers are responsible for our children’s care, education and well-being because we will be questioned about this on the Day of Judgment. So sisters, we should do our level best to fulfill this obligation which Allah (SWT) has commanded us to do. We as Muslim mothers have a great task of raising righteous children insha’Allah. Children who will be shining examples to the society, those who will revive the message of Islam and bring immense benefit to the ummah, ameen.
Allah (SWT) accepts the dua of the mother for her child, so we should be asking Him to guide our children and grant them the best in the duniya and the akhira. This reminds me of a beautiful example of the power of a mother’s dua. Sheikh Tawfique Chowdhury mentioned in a talk that he asked Imam Abdurrahman Sudais, “How did you become the imam of Al-Haram?” Imam Sudais replied “I was a very naughty child and every time I misbehaved my mother would say “may you become the imam of Al-Haram””. So instead of becoming angry with him, she made dua to Allah. Subhan’Allah, this goes to show how powerful a mother’s dua is for her children. We should try to implement this method when dealing with our children insha’Allah.
Importance of balance
This flower illustrates that a child needs a balance of everything to develop into a healthy individual. Spiritual is in the centre because that is the most important aspect for a Muslim child. As parents we should attend to all five aspect of their development and not just focus on one aspect, as is the case in many families. We have some parents over-emphasizing on the mental aspect, they push them to do well at school, get good grades and become a doctor, lawyer, engineer etc. However, they neglect the spiritual aspect. On the other hand, there are parents who focus on their children’s Islamic education and by doing so they neglect physical, social and emotional aspects. They do not allow their children to have fun. We need to have a balance because Islam is a way of life and can be incorporated into everything we do insha’Allah.
The story of Luqman Al-Hakim provides us with exceptional advice which we should pass onto our children. Luqman advised his son the following pieces of advice;
a) Tawheed – Do not join in worship others with Allah (SWT), for this is the greatest wrong doing.
b) Accountability – That indeed Allah has knowledge of the smallest objects in the heavens and the Earth. He alone understands their finer mysteries and is capable of bringing them forth.
c) Importance of salah – Establish regular prayer.
d) Enjoin what is just and forbid what is wrong.
e) Be patient with the hardships that befall you.
f) Not to be arrogant and boastful – Beware of false pride.
g) Be moderate in pace.
h) Ways of communication – Lower your voice, for the harshest of sounds is that of the donkey.
We should place great emphasis on making our children aware of the greatest dhulm (injustice)…SHIRK. (Luqman verses 13-19)
Subhan’Allah, what priceless advice. If we strive to teach our children these things and make dua to Allah (SWT), then we will equip our children with excellent manners insha’Allah.
And Allah (SWT) knows best.
By Umm Zaidah Nusaybah.