Parenting Course Notes, Week 1.

By Umm Zaidah Nusaybah

Bismillahir Rahmaneer Raheem

I am currently studying a parenting course which looks at it from an Islamic point of view Alhamdulillah. I think there is a great need for courses such as this because as Muslim women we have a great responsibility of raising righteous children inshaAllah. We are our children’s first institute for learning. Therefore it is incumbent on us to know how to raise our children according to Islamic principles insha Allah. Although motherhood can be demanding I see it as a privilege because there are many women out there yearning for children but are unable to have any due to various circumstances. May Allah (SWT) grant these women children who will be the coolness for their eyes, Ameen.
The course is designed to be interactive with lively discussions. We also participate in role-play (which I enjoy very much!).

Notes from Week One

Children’s rights
Allah (SWT) says in the Noble Qur’an:
“O you who believe! Save yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is Men and Stones over which are (appointed) angels stern (and) severe who flinch not (from executing) the Commands they receive from Allah but do (precisely) what they are commanded” (SurahTahreem: verse 6)
In the first session we discussed the rights of a new born child having this ayah as a guideline.

1- Tasmiya. The first right that was discussed was the right to give the child a good name (Tasmiya). The proof of this is the hadith of the prophet (SWS):
“A child will be called by his name”

Unfortunately we find that when it comes to naming children people have some weird customs. For example, some people point to the Qur’an and pick any word. Thus calling their children names such as khinzil, jaheem, Riba etc. Others even name their children after their animals. So you end up with Mimi, Fifi or kitty!! Other people choose the names of actors and singers. My personal favorites have to the names of fruits such as Lesu, anggur, khomla, khazur, khola (translated into English from Bengali means Lychee, grape, orange, dates, banana). I’m sure you guys have come across these names right??! (note: no offence intended)

2-Aqiqa – slaughtering one sheep for a girl and two for a boy. Preferably this is done on the seventh day, if not then on the 14th or 21st. If you cannot do it on those days then you can do it on any other Insha Allah. The proof for this:
“Every child is tied to his aqiqa so shed blood for him”.

3-Circumcission (Khitaan) – Everybody knows circumcision for a boy is wajib but many people do not realise that female circumcision is also part of the Sunnah (Note: this is not the same as genital mutilation practiced by some people)
Prophet (sws) said fitra acts are five (a) circumcision (b) shaving (c) trimming the moustache (d) clipping the nails (e) removing armpit hair. (Bukhari and Muslim)

4-Teaching aqeedah (life skills, adaab, aklaaq)
“A child is born a Muslim and it is his parents who change him into a Jew or Christian”

5-Breastfeeding- it is recommended that a child should be breastfed for the first two years of his life if possible. This is sometimes quite difficult for sisters to practice due to pressure from family members to give the child the bottle. I feel quite sad when I hear sisters having to put up a fight so that they can breastfeed their child. Sheikh Shuhaib Hassan once said:
“....the child should be suckled for the first two years of his life, instead of given powdered milk which has been stored in tin for months. Few adults would abandon fresh fruits and vegetables for stale, tinned foods, yet they are quite happy to feed nothing but tinned milk and foods to their infants. Secondly, just as the mother’s blood in the womb passes nutrients and her emotions through to the blood of her child so her milk also passes her characteristics and emotions to her child while she is suckling him, causing him to feel immense comfort and confidence”.

Other rights include, shaving his hair, giving him knowledge of the deen and the Duniya, providing food shelter and TLC (tender love care), teaching him about hygiene and safety.