Is it possible to be a busy wife, mother AND look good?

Friday, January 26, 2007

Anas, may Allah be pleased with him, reported that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: "When a woman prays her five prayers, fasts her month (of Ramadan), preserves her chastity, and obeys her husband, then she may enter the Jannah (Paradise) from any door she chooses." [Ahmad and others; authentic]

Before marriage we read many books on how to obey our husbands and how to be good wives. One of the main things that was emphasized was adorning ourselves for our husbands.

How easy! We would think. Is that it? And we couldn't understand it when we would see married sisters who didn't.

After marriage - 'It's still easy - with the odd 'bad hair day' here and there.'

After children - quotes:
'HELP!!'
'HUSBAND WHO?'
'I can't remember the last time I had a hair cut!'
'Maybe I'll just wait till Jannah InshaAllah to look beautiful....'
'I don't know where to start, it seems like sooo long ago....'
'I need to loose 2 stones first!'

Lately I've been thinking. We make too many excuses, there are too many beautiful woman out there to make excuses. As for the last excuse, a sister responded, 'We know that losing even a few pounds doesn't happen over night. And what to do in the meantime? Plus we could die tommorrow so lets make the most of how we look.'

A sister commented about adorning herself for her husband, 'I'd honestly rather have him expect to come home to see his wife in the best form and therefore push himself harder to lower his gaze, than have him expect to come home and find me in jogging pants and a t-shirt and find it harder to resist the temptations. He's out all day, and he sees all kinds of things. When he knows that if he lowers his gaze, he will be rewarded in the akhirah by Allah, and in the dunya by going home to a wife who can show him what he saw and better (because it's halal) it makes the struggle all the more worth it for him. '

Allah describes the woman as: “…one brought up among adornments” [Sûrah al-Zukhruf: 18]

Below are some practical tips and advice from various sisters that inshaAllah will help us to balance our obligations, to Allah, our husbands and children.

* Buy clothes that are crease resistant or drip dry them to save time on ironing.
* Wear kohl - it takes a second to apply and you can do wudu over it without removing it.
* Try to find out what your husband likes, styles, clothes etc. That always makes things easier. (Ebay is great for this because you can show the pictures of the items before buying - pictures without women in them of course.)
* Time is of the essence! Learn to have quick showers and get ready in a few minutes.
* Practice doing different hairstyles and keep a note of quick ones that look good. Loose buns look great with casual clothes.
* Wear perfume and matching body lotion. A sister said, 'I quickly apply body lotion to sweat areas (ie under arms) straight after a shower and a quick spray of matching perfume to my home clothes so I'm always smelling good.
* Buy clothes that are comfortable - but look good. A sister said, 'Lately I've bought a new wardrobe from ebay (bargain prices! My husbands favourite dress cost me 2 pounds - including postage and packaging!) I've bought some dresses that are comfortable, flattering, not too long so i don't trip over it and can climb up and down the stairs with my daughter. I buy dresses that have some sleeves so i can wear them in front of other women also . I try to look for Warm fabric so i don't freeze on cold days and Comfortable enough to do all household chores in. Also I make sure it has a side zip, or i can pull down the neck because im breastfeeding still.'
* Wear Simple Jewellery that don't get in the way of things.
* Try to balance things ie cooking, cleaning, dressing up. Don't do too much of any so it ends up that you're neglecting the others.
* Going out. A sister said, 'I try not to go out too much Because my hijab makes my hair flat. Also I do most of my shopping online rather than spend a whole day in town with my toddler moaning in her buggy and not getting anything I needed or wanted.'
* Mirror Mirror.... A sister once said, 'A wise woman is one who has a mirror in her Kitchen!'
* Water of life. Remember to always drink plenty of water for radiant skin.
* Oh Sugar! Sugar and water is a fast, cheap and effective way to Exfoliate!
* Remember the most important thing is DUA!!! A sister said, 'I pray to Allah in Sujood to make me the most beautiful woman for my Husband in this world and the next.'

May Allah help us to keep steadfast on the deen and be balanced Muslimaat. Ameen.