Parenting course notes

Routine

We discussed what the word ‘routine’ means to us and we came up with the following list:

• Repetition
• Good environment
• Organisation
• Responsibility
• Stability
• Support
• Skills for life
• Consistency
• Time-keeping
• Good health
• Way of life

For the second activity we described a typical day with our children. One example was

• Pray Fajr
• Wake up (recite morning du'aa)
• Brushing teeth and getting changed
• Breakfast
• Play and tidy up
• Do activity with the child
• Snack time
• Time for mum
• Lunch and Salaah
• Time with child (e.g play group)
• spend time with dad
• bath followed by supper
• bed

In life we need to do certain things that are obligatory. In Islam we believe in ‘DO AS I DO’, so if we want our children to do certain things we must adopt these things into our lives. For example, if we want our children to recite the Qur’aan regularly or pray Salaah at its appropriate time then we should do these things so that we can be an example to them and these things will became a part of our children’s’ nature inshaAllah. It is also very vital to remember that children need to have FUN!! Therefore, it shouldn’t be work, work,work all the time because if we are clever we can incorporate learning while they are playing or through activities they enjoy doing. Having fun should be part of their routine inshaAllah.

When our children are young we should focus on care, looking after them, feeding them and getting them used to a routine because a routine gives them stability and security. We should not focus too much on education while they are young. To establish a routine we need to have a good structure. Therefore, as parents we need to know our roles and what is required from us as mothers and fathers. Allah has not created fathers to be mothers because no matter how good a father is, he cannot replace the mother. Mothers have a natural bond with children. Allah has stated our roles clearly and we should fulfill our roles as much as possible inshaAllah because secure children come from a secure parent background.

There is a hadith narrated by Hanzala Usayyidi he reported: I met Abu Bakr. He said: who are you? I (Hanzala ) said ; Hanzala has turned into a hypocrite. He (Abu Bakr) said: What are you saying? Therefore he said: I say that when we are in the company of Allah’s messenger (sal Allahu 'alaiyhi wa sallam) we ponder on hell-fire and paradise as if we are seeing them with our very eyes and when we are away from Allah’s messenger (sal Allahu 'alaiyhi wa sallam) we attend to our wives, children, our business, most of these things (pertaining to after-life) slip out of our minds. Abu Bakr said: By Allah, I also experience the same. So I and Abu Bakr went to Allah’s messenger (sws) and said to him: Allah’s messenger, Hanzala has turned into a hypocrite. Thereupon Allah’s messenger asked me what happened. After hearing what I (Hanzala) said. Allah’s messenger (sal Allahu 'alaiyhi wa sallam) said : By whose hand is my life, if your state of mind remains the same as it is at the time of remembrance of Allah, the angels would shake hands with you, there is a time for worldly affairs and a time for worship (Sahih Muslim)

Relating this hadith back to our children and routine, we need to incorporate worship and worldly affairs into their routine InshaAllah. We need to dedicate some time for worship and some time for them to have fun.

Allah knows best.