Friday, 1 August 2008

The Man Rules

Some light humour - my husband sent me this.....

The Man Rules
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down
Finally , the guys' side of the story

We always hear
'the rules'
From the female side
Now here are the rules from the male side

These are our rules!
Please note... they are all numbered '1' ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one! Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have NO idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really!

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as computers or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know I have to sleep on the couch tonight;But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.

Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

LOOOOOOL!

Anonymous said...

Obviously written by non-Muslim eg the toilet seat one - yuk, sit down and urinate!! But some are relevant to Muslims. Funny. :-)

Anonymous said...

Very funny! Thanks for sharing.

Anonymous said...

That's funny! Thanks.

Anonymous said...

is everything numbered one because men cant count??

strangerinthisdunya said...

Assalaamu alaikum,

Just discovered your blog and am reading my way through... masha'Allah. :)

Had to comment on this one though - tooooo funny (and true!) Thanks for the chuckle!

Fatima Barkatulla said...

Jazakillahu Khairan Umm M

My husband will like this!

FB

Anonymous said...

Salam,
Very funny. Thanks for sharing. I just get acquainted with your blog when I was searching for information on the Arabian football player who was claimed to be taken by the angel death on the field. I still don't know whether the video is fake or not! I wish I could know the real truth one day.
Barakallu fik! Wassalam.