Thursday, 19 June 2008

This makes me smile everytime I read it...

Things Mum Taught

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me LOGIC.
" Because I said so, that's why."

4. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the
store with me."

5. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

6. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

7. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

8. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

9. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

10. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

11. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

12. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

13. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have
wonderful parents like you do."

14. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

15. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

16. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

17. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

18. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

19. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

20. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

21. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

22. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

23. My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

Taken from Islamway Sisters.


Anonymous said...

this is funny

ive heard some of these many of tyms!!!

Hayath said...

iv hear things like that 25 hours a day, n I aint 1 to exxaggerate!

Umm Maymoonah said...

Aww poor thing - is it just your mum or your sisters as well .. (wink).

have sabr InshaAllah.

Hayath said...

you,re right it is my sisters as well, my sister's teach me alot, that's why im a graduate! Doctor of science!

hayath said...

nah they do teach me alot, they taught me biology, apparently my beathing like that of an elephant.

hayath said...

if u were slightly clever you'd notice my spelling error, umm!

Umm Maymoonah said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

I'm lost!

Mum of 3. said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.